Helping Your Child Cope with Change
Change is a natural part of life. Sometimes it’s small and barely noticeable, but other times it’s big and has a significant impact on our world—and our children’s world, too. Whether it’s starting a new school, adjusting to a parent’s divorce, joining a new activity, welcoming a sibling, or going through puberty, kids and teens experience many transitions as they grow. Learning how to support them through these changes can make all the difference—for them and the whole family.
Here are some ways you can help your child navigate change in a healthy, supportive way:
1. Validate Their Feelings
Start by giving your child space to talk about how they feel. Encourage them to share their thoughts, fears, or questions, and let them know it’s perfectly normal to feel uncertain or nervous. Help them identify and name their emotions—sometimes they may feel excited and scared at the same time. When you validate their feelings, you show them that it’s okay to experience a range of emotions, and that they’re not alone.
2. Prepare for the Change
Whenever possible, provide age-appropriate information about what’s coming. Answer their questions openly, and help them anticipate what the change might look like. Uncertainty often fuels anxiety, so giving them concrete details can help ease their worries. For example, if you’re moving, take a drive to see the new neighborhood together. If schedules are shifting, talk about the new routine ahead of time so they know what to expect.
3. Keep Other Routines Consistent
When one part of life is changing, it helps to keep other areas steady. Routine offers a sense of security and control, especially when things feel unpredictable. If your child is starting a new school, try to keep their morning or bedtime routines the same. Avoid making multiple big changes at once, if you can—stability in other areas can help them feel more grounded.
4. Be Present and Supportive
Continue to check in and be there for your child as they adjust. Celebrate their small wins—like saying hello to a new classmate—but also hold space for the challenges. Let them know it’s okay to struggle, and that they can come to you for support, encouragement, or just to talk. Remind them that change takes time, and they don’t have to face it alone.
5. Know When to Reach Out for Help
You don’t have to have all the answers—and that’s okay. If your child is having a hard time adjusting or is showing signs of ongoing anxiety, it may be helpful to reach out for support. This might mean talking with their teacher, checking in with a school counselor, or connecting with a therapist. Getting professional help can offer your child additional tools to cope—and give you guidance, too.
Final Thoughts
Change can be tough for kids (and adults, too), but with the right support, they can learn to adapt, grow, and even thrive through transitions. The most important thing is letting them know that you're walking alongside them—ready to listen, reassure, and remind them they’re not alone.
-Ashley Hayes, LMSW
