Teaching Young Children Problem-Solving Skills
Life can be full of little challenges—especially when you’re just starting to figure the world out. For toddlers, preschoolers, and kindergarteners, even small situations—like waiting for a turn with a toy or asking for help—can feel like big hurdles.
That’s why it’s so important to start teaching problem-solving skills early. When children learn these tools in their early years, they build a strong foundation for handling conflicts, managing emotions, and communicating clearly as they grow.
The good news? These skills can be taught, practiced, and even made fun.
Step One: Name the Problem
When a young child faces a tricky situation, guide them with the first question:
“What is the problem?”
Once they can name it, move to:
“What can I do to make it better?”
At this age, kids need simple, clear solutions they can actually use in the moment. Here are some great ones to start practicing now.
Eight Simple Problem-Solving Tools for Little Learners
Ask an adult for help with the situation.
Use their words to tell a friend what happened and how it made them feel.
Say “please” when asking for a turn or to use something.
Share the toy or item with someone else.
Take turns—wait patiently and then switch.
Ask to trade toys or items.
Say “please stop” if someone is doing something they don’t like.
Walk away and take a break using a coping skill.
Early Coping Skills to Teach and Model
Helping young children manage big feelings in small bodies is key to problem-solving success. Try modeling these calming tools:
Count to 10 – Slowly, using fingers so they can follow along.
“Pizza Breaths” – Pretend to smell a pizza (inhale through the nose) and blow to cool it (exhale through the mouth).
Ask for help – Show them how to say, “Help me, please.”
Talk about feelings – Use simple words and examples so they can recognize signs of emotions like mad, sad, or excited.
Ask for a hug – Model how to request one, while teaching it’s okay to say “no” or hear “no.”
Take a break in a Calm Down Area – Create a safe, cozy spot where they can reset.
Use a fidget or squishy toy – Perfect for redirecting restless hands.
Practice Through Play
Little ones learn best when they can act out situations in a safe and supportive environment. Role-play simple scenarios like:
A toy gets taken without asking.
Someone cuts in line.
A friend is crying.
A mess needs cleaning.
Someone else is using a toy they want.
The room is too loud.
By practicing, children see that there’s usually more than one way to solve a problem—and that they have the skills to make good choices.
Final Thoughts
Problem-solving doesn’t develop overnight—especially in the toddler and preschool years—but starting early makes a huge difference. These strategies are building blocks for success in school, friendships, and life.
And with a little patience, modeling, and play, teaching problem-solving to young children can be not only effective but also fun.
—Nicole Kremlicka, LCSW
