Bullying Prevention

I was driving to work yesterday and was stuck at a light in front of a school.  Yesterday happened to be Saturday so the children were on the sidewalk, not because they were going to school but because it was a Saturday at noon.  As I was stopped at a traffic light I watched these kids, all between 10 - 12ish, interacting with each other.  It was a mixed group of both girls and boys. I observed one of the boys pulling the hood on a girl’s jacket over her head so low it covered part of her face. In retaliation she pushed him and he responded by hitting her on the arm repeatedly until he finally walked off.  What I witnessed at that moment was bullying.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA) website, bullying is defined as being a “form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort” (APA, n.d.).  In a society where bullying has seemingly become an acceptable behavior amongst adults, why would our children act otherwise? As I always say, “monkey see, monkey do”.  But I’m not here to try to adjust the viewpoint of aggressors, I am here to discuss the victims and how to best support them.

A study completed by the U.S. Department of Justice and used by the National Center for Education Statistics offered evidence that middle school females as the highest percentage of students reported being bullied during school (National Center for Education Statistics, 2024).  The important word here being “reported”, as males are traditionally underrepresented in surveys due to a lower response rate.

So what are some ways to support these young children at the beginning of their teen years?

Encouraging Supportive Friendships Through Modeling & Empathy

According to Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, the key to decreasing the possibility of bullying is friends.  As adults, there is only so much we can do to facilitate friendship amongst middle schoolers.  What trusted adults can do is offer empathy while children navigate the rough waters of middle school friendships. Trusted adults, through empathy, offer them a way to be understood and supported.  Often children will not discuss friendship issues with an adult due to fear of judgment or being lectured.  Again, this is where empathy becomes paramount. Children also learn by example, and if the trusted adults in their lives are not making time to foster their own friendships, relationship building will not become a priority in the life of the child.  Cultivating and sustaining friendship in adulthood can be tricky. We are all multi-tasking to an almost comical level, but friendship doesn’t have to be a girl’s or guy’s trip or weekly dinners with your pals.  We, as trusted adults, can show by example that supporting friendship can come in many different ways, like prioritizing time to make a phone call to a friend, mailing a birthday card, or simply sending that silly meme you found on instagram.  Relationships are work and it is important for children to see the trusted adults in their lives putting in the work for their own friendships.

Limiting & Monitoring Technology

Children, especially teens, are socializing more than ever on their devices. But nothing can replace the necessary face to face interactions that nurture social development. It is important that caregivers place appropriate limits on technology to encourage face to face interactions. Support the child in pursuing activities they enjoy so they will be more likely to find like minded friends. When children spend activity based time together it can often ease awkwardness because the focus is on the activity. It is also important for caregivers to monitor their child’s devices using parental controls because cyberbullying is common especially when social media is involved. 

Know the Law

The Dignity for All Students Act (DASA) was signed into New York State law over 10 years ago with the core purpose of providing students with a safe and supportive environment free from discrimination, intimidation, taunting, harassment, and bullying (including cyberbullying) on school property, a bus, or school function (New York State Department of Education, n.d.).  Harassment and bullying is defined under DASA as the “creation of a hostile environment by conduct or by threats, intimidation, or abuse, including cyberbullying (New York State Department of Education, n.d.).  All school faculty and staff are required to complete DASA training, but parents should also be informed.  If a child comes home upset due to harassment and bullying you can contact any school staff to report an incident either as a verbal and/or written report, please note a blank DASA complaint form must be posted on the District website.  After an incident is reported the school is obligated to complete a prompt investigation.  The investigation will either determine that the occurrence was a material incident or not. Please note in the event an occurrence is not found to be a material incident it does not mean it did not happen, it just did not qualify as a material incident under the law.  Throughout the process and regardless of the outcome of the investigation it is helpful to collaborate with faculty and staff to create a plan to support the child in feeling safe at school.  If it is felt that the child is not receiving a sufficient amount of support a parent does have the right to go up the “chain of command”, which means exhausting the school personnel before moving up to a state complaint.  It is extremely important to go through the process, even if it becomes frustrating, the school and its district must be given the opportunity to resolve the complaint prior to elevating it to the state level.

Will bullying cease to exist after writing this blog… NO.  However, If we all embrace Gandhi's words, "Be the change you want to see in the world," we can each make a difference in our own way.

-Jennifer Campbell, MHC-LP

References

APA. (n.d.). Bullying. APA.ORG. Retrieved March, 2025, from https://www.apa.org/topics/bullying

Kennedy-Moore, PhD, E. (2024, March). Speaking of Psychology: How to help kids navigate friendship, with Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD (Episode) [Podcast 279]. APA.ORG. Retrieved March, 2025, from https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/kids-friendship

National Center for Education Statistics. (2024, July). Annual Reports and Information Staff. Student Bullying. Retrieved March, 2025, from https://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/indicator/a10

The New York State Center for School Safety. (n.d.). The Dignity for All Students Act | nyscfss.org. The New York State Center for School Safety. Retrieved June 22, 2025, from https://www.nyscfss.org/the-dignity-for-all-students-act

New York State Department of Education. (n.d.). DASA Info Sheet. New York State Education Department. Retrieved June 22, 2025, from https://www.nysed.gov/sites/default/files/programs/student-support-services/dasa-information-guide.pdf